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MotherFook!@! MotherFookers cause Nowie Disaster!!! I lost my iPhone at Lifeline! No!@! I don't blame Lifeline. Fook!

Nowie Nov 4, 2026, 6:42 pm EST	MotherFook!@! MotherFookers cause Nowie Disaster!!! I lost my iPhone at Lifeline! No!@! I don't blame Lifeline. Fook! So, I had my iPhone at Lifeline and was trying to check my bank balance. I put my phone on the counter to take out my debt card to pay $1.50 Aud for a copy of Ed Wood's "Bride of the Monster" and I forgot to put my phone back in my pocket! A couple of Aborigines were standing behind me and I was cloud nine because Lifeline had a ED Wood movie as everydood would be! I get home and reach inside my pocket for my keys and no iPhone SE 3rd Gen (2022) and I was like Fook!@! No Fook! So, I went back to Lifeline and the ladies hadn't seen it! My iPhone got stolen! (Due to my negligence, but still stolen!) I paid $99 Aud for that iPhone! I don't think this situation merits a "Dumb and Dumber" response because it's partly my fault. But I do think that the local druggies should be punished by adding the $100 Aud to cost of all their drugs which is apparently $20 Aud making the new price of crack, fentanyl and meff $120 Aud a dose. Soon I'll replace by E-Bike lock due to Chrisco gift cards at Big W for a cost of $22 Aud and although my E-Bike should be secure it's too hot to risk the E-Bike battery. Fook, MotherFookers stealing MotherFooking MotherFooked phones! I'm probably going to have to get a new phone and I didn't anticipate the cost of the new phone. Fook! MotherFooking, MotherFookers promoting MotherFooking MotherFooked phone theft MotherFooker!
Elaine Nov 4, 2026, 7:13 pm EST	RE: MotherFook!@! MotherFookers cause Nowie Disaster!!! I lost my iPhone at Lifeline! No!@! I don't blame Lifeline. Fook! Sorry to hear it.
Nowie Nov 4, 2026, 7:24 pm EST	RE: MotherFook!@! MotherFookers cause Nowie Disaster!!! I lost my iPhone at Lifeline! No!@! I don't blame Lifeline. Fook! MotherFooking MotherFookers selling MotherFooked Phones! Reboot-It has great cheap phones, but not ones that are an upgrade from my iPhone SE and it's MotherFooking Christmas!@! So, I deserve something nice! (Paid for by Aus Taxpayers of course!) JB Hifi has a motherfooking $465 Aud iPhone 13 and it has the same chip as that MotherFooking stolen iPhone SE! And a "Fook All" 50% bigger battery! But it does have twice the storage, so that's something and is in "Excellent" condition so hopefully the battery has over 90% of capacity left! My MotherFooking SE had 97% MotherFooking battery! It was as good as a MotherFooking refurbished phone MotherFooking gets! Albeit the MotherFooking 2018 mah battery allowed for Fook All screen time. MotherFook!@! I changed my Apple password and then the two banking passwords, BUT!@! it's still got ALL MY MOTHERFOOKING 2 FACTOR AUTHENTICATION CODES ON IT. I'm going to have to change my Gmail, Telstra, Belong and several other MotherFooking passwords! Fook my life!@! MotherFook!@!
Anonymous Coward Nov 4, 2026, 8:43 pm EST	RE: MotherFook!@! MotherFookers cause Nowie Disaster!!! I lost my iPhone at Lifeline! No!@! I don't blame Lifeline. Fook! Log into your iCloud and wipe the phone. Then contact store to see if it was turned to lost and found ….
Clitoris Walker Nov 5, 2026, 7:39 pm EST	RE: MotherFook!@! MotherFookers cause Nowie Disaster!!! I lost my iPhone at Lifeline! No!@! I don't blame Lifeline. Fook! Meeeeef!!
Nowie Nov 6, 2026, 1:01 am EST	RE: MotherFook!@! MotherFookers cause Nowie Disaster!!! I lost my iPhone at Lifeline! No!@! I don't blame Lifeline. Fook! Log into your iCloud and wipe the phone. Then contact store to see if it was turned to lost and found …. I should have remote delete. I changed all my passwords first and foremost. Now I'm going to get the cheapest phone Telstra sells and keep it, it's a dumb phone used mostly by the elderly and that's why I want it. It costs $60 Aud and it's worth $15 Aud at the pawnbroker, the great thing is Telstra will send you a replacement sim with your number and credit on it after disconnecting your old sim. A $60 phone with a $50 microSD card for a grand total of $110. I could get a $500 Aud phone on Tuesday, but I'd be mortified if I lost it even though I could get the replacement sim. One really spectacular benefit of a dumb phone is; it doesn't compromise my digital life if I lose it. Another benefit is I'll have to do my internet banking on my computer, that's an obvious plus as I won't be able move money out of my savings should I see a bottle/some munchies that's a little more expensive than I budgeted for. Another plus is; with a "throwaway" Google account on the dumb phone for mostly ad free YouTube/ad free YouTube Music with the cheapest YouTube subscription at $8.99 Aud a month, I can listen to YouTube with my new $10 earbuds at home and download YouTube videos on the $50 microSD card, videos that I would fund with a gift card. Even though I only submitted my first name to make the account, I would have to provide photo ID to comply with Oz's "Social Media" laws which would be store only on Google's servers; not locally. Because the dumb phone wouldn't store my ID through "MyGov" or "MyGovID", which are apps used to interact with the Oz Government. If I don't save the names of my contacts in the contact list on the phone, it would take a subpoena to find out who they are! The fifth benefit of having a dumb phone is, I like writing; I do it all day on "Teh Forums" as you all know from this long, boring post... But 3 out of my 4 irl buddies are dyslexic and 2 of them have ADHD, and the fourth guy works 2 jobs and has a wife with a toddler... So they struggle with reading the long boring "Epic of Gilgamesh" essays I text with my phone. Sure, essays are appropriate regarding major life changes, but everyone wants me to be briefer when I communicate with them. The sixth benefit is; it's a $60 phone! There's less incentive to steal a phone that you can't even get $20 of weed for and no one really wants; because they're digital natives and without AI spelling checkers or voice to text app they can't really use it! I think that's the perfect solution as to my phone woes. I jump on my computer to open Google.com for Gemini, the PC's web browser for all things internet and game on my Nintendo Switch/Ayaneo! Imagine dear reader, pilfering though someone's pocket to get their banking details from their phone and finding out they're a luddite with a bank/cheque book! Lulz!
Dr. Obvious Nov 6, 2026, 7:22 am EST	RE: MotherFook!@! MotherFookers cause Nowie Disaster!!! I lost my iPhone at Lifeline! No!@! I don't blame Lifeline. Fook! Call the Phone. See if Anyone Answers. These people sell great refurbished iPhones. Delivered Very Fast AnyWhere on Earth. www.BackMarket.com Then go to currier and get new sim card.

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